When The Family Courts Get It Wrong
Reading about a parent separated from her children through flawed court proceedings, I find myself thinking about everything that happens between the hearings: the questions she is afraid to ask, the conversations she rehearses but never has, and the effort of getting through another week while her children grow up elsewhere.
A recent report in The Guardian describes a mother whose daughters were removed in 2020 following evidence from an unregulated psychologist. Her subsequent contact has largely been supervised. In 2025, a judge ruled that findings resting on that assessment could not stand as a basis for further assessment. Correcting the legal position, however, has not restored the relationship.
As a divorce and separation coach, and a former family law solicitor, I see places where additional support might have helped. But the responsibility for what happened must remain where it belongs. The failures described concern "expert" evidence, judicial decision-making and the treatment of alleged domestic abuse. Coaching could not have repaired those failures or guaranteed a different outcome.
What it might have done, however, was offer someone alongside her, helping her ask questions, prepare for difficult conversations and sustain herself through a process that demanded far more than legal instructions.
Helping a parent raise concerns
Your solicitor advises on the law, the evidence and the options available to you. Yet when you are frightened about losing your children, even explaining what troubles you can feel difficult. You may worry that asking questions will make you seem obstructive, or that disagreeing with a professional will count against you.
Coaching can create space to examine those worries and turn them into questions for your legal team. What qualifications and regulatory registration does the proposed expert hold? What are they being asked to assess? If there is a history of abuse, how will it be considered? If there are concerns about impartiality, what options does the solicitor advise?
The coach’s role is to help the client articulate the concern and seek advice. Deciding whether to object to an appointment, challenge a report or make an application belongs with the legal team. A client should be able to understand the advice they receive and discuss their concerns openly. Supporting that conversation is one of the most useful things a coach like me can do.
Making room for distress while communicating clearly
There is something deeply troubling about the suggestion that a distressed parent must appear sufficiently composed to be believed. Fear, grief and anger are understandable responses to the possibility of losing your children, and their presence does not make an account less truthful.
Nevertheless, preparing for difficult meetings can help someone express what they need others to understand. A coach might help a parent organise a chronology, identify the specific concern, explain its impact on the children and prepare questions for their solicitor.
That preparation must preserve the seriousness of abuse. Being child-focused includes speaking clearly about harm and safety; it should never mean softening an account to make it more comfortable for others to hear. Nor should coaching rehearse a preferred version of events. Its purpose is to support honest communication, with statements and evidence remaining subject to the legal team’s advice.
Support through supervised contact
For a parent living with restricted contact, the pressure continues long after a hearing finishes. There may be anxiety before each visit, sadness afterwards and uncertainty about how to maintain warmth when ordinary family intimacy feels constrained.
A coach could help a parent prepare emotionally, think through age-appropriate things to say and find ways to express love within the arrangements in place. Where correspondence is restricted, any uncertainty about what is permitted should go back to the solicitor.
Practical support could include keeping factual records, organising questions for the next appointment and developing routines that make daily life more manageable. Specialist domestic abuse support or psychological treatment may also be needed. Coaching should recognise those needs and support access to the right professionals.
Rebuilding a relationship at the children’s pace
A parent may understandably long for their children to know what happened and recognise the injustice. But rebuilding trust requires sensitivity to what the children themselves can manage. Here, coaching could help a parent tolerate slow progress, respond to hesitation without pressing for reassurance and keep their own understandable need for vindication from overwhelming time together.
The court and appropriately qualified psychologist should guide the arrangements and therapeutic work. The Family Justice Council’s guidance emphasises that children’s reluctance to see a parent can have different causes, including their own experiences of harmful parenting or alleged abuse. It should not automatically be attributed to manipulation by the other parent. Their experiences and wishes deserve careful attention.
The financial cost deserves attention too
The Guardian reports £85,000 in legal bills and £13,000 for her share of supervised contact: £98,000 altogether. This is deeply troubling, because money spent sustaining and challenging proceedings is then unavailable for housing, everyday security and the children’s future.
Coaching cannot promise savings, but it may help a client prepare for legal appointments, organise questions and use professional time more effectively. Nobody should, however, feel pressured to abandon a necessary safeguarding concern simply because pursuing it is expensive.
For me, this case reinforces why legal advice and ongoing personal support both matter. A parent needs sound representation, but also space to think, ask questions and remain connected to the life they are trying to protect. Providing that support is where coaching can help, while responsibility for fair decisions and children’s safety remains firmly with the family justice system.
Sources
Hannah Summers, The Guardian, 29 September 2026, updated 1 October 2026: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2026/sep/29/mother-feels-betrayed-family-courts-parental-alienation-england-wales
O v C [2025] EWFC 334: https://caselaw.nationalarchives.gov.uk/ewfc/2025/334
Family Justice Council, Guidance on responding to a child’s unexplained reluctance, resistance or refusal to spend time with a parent and allegations of alienating behaviour, December 2024: https://www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Family-Justice-Council-Guidance-on-responding-to-allegations-of-alienating-behaviour-2024-1-1.pdf
The information provided in this blog is for general guidance and educational purposes only and should not be considered legal, financial or therapeutic advice. Where specialist advice is required, I will always encourage you to seek support from an appropriately qualified professional and can recommend trusted experts within my professional network.
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